Making peace with self

 💛 🌞 😊

Whenever the noise in my mind gets too loud, I try to calm myself by exploring something new whether it’s writing, picking up a random skill, or losing myself in stories and music. Over the last year, K-pop and K-dramas have become my escape. There’s something comforting about the melodies, the lyrics, the emotions they carry it feels like they understand the chaos I can’t put into words. Watching characters heal, fall apart, or find love makes me feel less alone. In those moments, I find peace. It’s not a cure, but it’s a soft reminder that joy still exists.

The moment I’m alone and the world finally goes quiet, that’s when the weight I’ve been carrying makes itself known loud and unapologetic. In the stillness, the masks slip, and the poise I wear so well starts to crack. Suddenly, it’s not so easy to keep it together. The thoughts I’ve been dodging all day catch up to me like uninvited guests, and the calm turns heavy. I sit with it, dressed in silence, feeling every bit of the chaos I’ve been tucking away behind soft smiles and “I’m fine.”

My unexpected comfort in this chaotic world has become Choi Seung Hyun—T.O.P. Somehow, a stranger managed to heal parts of me I didn’t even know were bleeding. His words, his art, his presence there’s something in him that speaks to the loneliness I’ve carried for so long. He moved me without ever knowing I exist, and yet, it feels like he understands the silence in my soul better than most people ever have. I hope one day I get to attend his concert, to breathe in the same presence, to silently say thank you for being the light I never saw coming.